Mission Objective: Keep Paternal Needs Conceirge (PNC) awake so as to meet my needs.

Mission Report:

8:10 am: Maternal Needs Conceirge (MNC) delivers me to PNC at NC slumber location, so that MNC can manufacture more liquid food that I ordered her to provide me.

8:12 am: PNC's eyes remain closed. Commence mission objectives.

8:13 am: I hit PNC in the face with hands. He remains undisturbed.

8:14 am: I kick PNC in the chest with hands. No response.

8:15 am: I grab PNC's lower lip. He opens his eyes. They then return to closed position.

8:16 am: Drastic measures required. I commence pants poop.

8:17 am: PNC wakes. Sighs in disappointment. Goes back to sleep.

8:18 am: I grab PNC's lower lip and poop my pants again simultaneously. He grumbles, wakes, then goes back to sleep.

8:19 am: I punch PNC in face, and poop again. Still no response.

8:20 am: I grab PNC upper and lower lips. I then kick him in chest. Then I poop. He wakes up. Pats my head. Goes back to sleep.

8:24 am: I poop 3 more times. Insolent PC disregards.

8:25 am: I commence measure of last resort and proceed with operation cry. PNC finally rises to do as I tell him.

End Report